Kat is a Senior Support Worker at Women’s Aid. Yawn fundraises annually for this fantastic charity through Giving Friday and we were delighted to talk to Kat about the amazing work they do.

What is it that you do for women in crisis?

Women’s Aid run support services for women experiencing domestic abuse and can also provide support to friends, family, professionals; anyone who has concerns about someone they know.

We run an online Live Chat service where women can discuss their situation with a fully trained female support worker. We can offer that initial validation around what someone is experiencing; we’re a lot of women’s ‘first point of call’. Many women are unsure if they are experiencing domestic abuse, and we can talk through those dynamics with them. Alongside that initial emotional support, we can also offer practical options, finding refuge vacancies for example, signposting to legal advice around injunctions or signposting to counselling support.

We really try to be survivor led and will offer support with whatever that survivor is needing at the time. We run an online Survivors Forum; a community of women who have experienced domestic abuse (past or present), an Email service and a Dedicated Service for Professionals.

Why is the work of Women’s Aid so important?

We’re not here to tell anyone what to do. We want to provide options and give that space for someone to discuss their situation in confidence. We want to counteract that voice of the perpetrator who is telling the survivor that no one will believe them, or that they are to blame. We want to empower women with emotional support but also practical options to help them live lives free from abuse.

Women’s Aid also affects change in policy and legislation, trying to challenge domestic abuse at a wider societal level.

What can we all do if we meet someone or know someone suffering from domestic abuse?

If you are unsure if someone’s experiencing abuse, you might want to ask them if they need any help. This can often feel awkward and may depend on the relationship you have with that person. They may deny there is a problem; they may not be ready to talk about the abuse or feel scared to open up. You can’t force someone to talk about their situation or leave an abusive relationship if they don’t feel ready.

If someone has confided in you about an abusive relationship they’re going through, the most important thing you can do is to give emotional support and let them know that there’s help available. Let that person know that there’s no excuse for domestic abuse and they’re not to blame. Many perpetrators will blame the woman for the abuse, so these situations often come with a lot of shame and guilt attached to them. They might be afraid or have emotional and practical barriers to leaving.

Try not to panic - you don’t have to have all the answers. You might want to gently encourage someone to reach out to Women's Aid when they are ready - you can signpost that person to our website. Calling the police is never an easy decision to make, but if someone you know is in danger or you’re aware of a violent attack taking place, then this is what you may want to do. We would always avoid approaching the perpetrator - this may only escalate the situation and place the survivor at greater risk. Anyone worried about someone else can find further guidance in our Survivors Handbook.

You have a very demanding role that must be emotionally challenging. How do you learn to switch off and what are the tools and techniques that have helped you?

On a day-to-day basis it’s about using what’s available and debriefing with my managers. If I’m feeling anxious or overwhelmed in the moment, I’ll use breathing techniques and take regular breaks in between chats. You never know exactly what you’ll be faced with next and whoever you’re speaking with next deserves you to be at your best.

As part of a bigger picture, it’s about looking after yourself; spending time with loved ones, getting enough sleep and eating well. I actually love running; I find that after you get past the 3 mile mark, it becomes almost meditative and I get that runners high. I’ve ran a few marathons to raise money for Women’s Aid; I ran Berlin Marathon in September and I’m currently training for Tokyo Marathon in March next year.

 When and where are you at your most relaxed and happy?

There’s nothing better than after you’ve had a really good nights sleep, getting up and going for a run- I feel so refreshed and ready to take on the day. Either that or watching some trash TV after a long day with a glass of wine and cuddling my cat (I would thoroughly recommend the Real Housewives franchise for something to switch off to!).

Quick fire:

• Top book on your reading list? Our Patron Mel B has actually written an amazing book (also available on audiobook)- ‘Brutally Honest’ which tells her story of domestic abuse. It’s a hard read, but also helps remove some of the shame and stigma associated with domestic abuse- if it happened to Scary Spice it can happen to anyone right? 

• Favourite song to relax to? I am currently loving Taylor Swifts album 1989 (Taylor’s Version)- this entire album is just completely wonderful… I am a Swiftie and proud to be!

• Favourite podcast? I tend to switch between comedy and anything running related (I could listen people talking about running nonstop), some faves are Run Pod, the Long Run Podcast, Off Menu and Kathy Burke’s Where there’s a Will There’s a Wake. 

• Pyjamas or nightshirt or nightdress? PJ’s always!

• What is your favourite Yawn print and why? I love the Hounds of Love print that I’ve got- such a beautiful colour

• Night cap or night cream? Ooooh… both? Night cap on the weekends for sure.

Thanks so much Kat - we loved meeting you and are so impressed with all that you do at Women's Aid.  We're delighted to be supporting this brilliant charity as part of Giving Friday for the fifth year running.